"Those are my underwear"

A couple of days ago, I was helping a 60-year old lady that I know find a set of missing keys.  Since this person had rummaged through all of her possessions that she had on her the last time that she had her keys, I was convinced that her keys were safe within the confines of her car.  Because of this, I sent myself on a mission to root through her car until the missing keys were found.  


I started by looking under both of her front seats, in cup holders, her glove compartment, under the visors and in the side compartments on her doors.  Coming up short handed on each of those locations, I set my sights on her center console determined to find these elusive keys.  Opening the console I find a pack of cigarettes, a couple CD cases, sunglasses and an array of other miscellaneous items. As I continue to dig towards the bottom, I grab a handful of items when I hear words that will haunt me for a very long time...


"Those are my underwear" - says the older woman in the car whose keys are lost.


Stunned while watching her motion towards the garments in my right hand, I say... "You mean...the ones in my hand?" 


With a nod of her head, I try not to concentrate on the state of cleanliness that the pair of panties in my hand may be in, and I quickly drop the items back to where they were found, and walk briskly to the nearest hand sanitizer. 


I have tried not to think too hard as to why a woman (of any age - but especially of older age) would keep a spare pair of underwear in her center console.  Although my efforts are great to not think about it, when I falter, my reasoning for the extra set of underwear are frightening. 


This is my life.  No one else's.  Because if it were someone else's...this shit wouldn't happen.  Only to me!  

A Ladies Rant: Gym Etiquette

Recently, Ryan and I have started working out 5-6 days a week.  Me to lose a few unwanted pounds and Ryan to gain a little extra muscle.  Because he and I have lives, jobs and other responsibilities we have a minimal amount of time each day that we can devote solely to working out.  So when we show up to the gym each morning, we mean business!  Although we love our gym and have really begun to enjoy working out, I have noticed a few etiquette items that need to be addressed…

1.  To the lady who insists on hopping onto the elliptical right next to me (even when there is a whole row of available machines): my Pandora can block out your exceptionally loud panting but it cannot block out your unbearable stench.  If you must workout in close proximity to me daily, please do something about your body odor.  It’s one word. 4 syllables. 9 letters. Deodorant. It will change your life, and mine. Thank you!

2. To the juiceheads in the back of the gym: Just because there is a full wall mirror by the weights, doesn’t mean that you are required to check yourself out constantly. Although it is tempting, save the flexing for your girlfriend/wife and get the hell out of my way. You make me not like you just by being you. I cannot for the life of me understand where you get your physiques in the first place, I never see you lift more than your muscle milk. Work out or get out. Thank you!

3. To the loud woman who thinks we all care what you have to say: We don’t. Keep your weather reports and your town gossip to yourself. No one wants to hear it.  Even your friends look like they would rather suck on a tailpipe than listen to your moronic anecdotes. You’re at the gym, not in a high school hallway. Cut the gossip and grow up. Thank you!

4. To the women on the stair climber: It loses all effect if you throw your body weight on the top half of the machine when the intensity increases.  I am no exercise expert, but I believe the idea of that machine is to give the effect as though you are walking up stairs at a rapid rate.  The way you are doing it, it would just be better to save your money, stay at home and lay on your back and move your knees towards your chest and then straight out again. Figure it out or try another machine.  Thank you!  

5. To the magazine hoarder: Unless you are endlessly quizzed on your knowledge of current Hollywood hook-ups and break-ups by the people who line up on a daily basis outside your door, please limit your magazine collection.  In case you haven’t noticed, there are others in the gym who may care to read them.  Take just one or bring your own from home.  Thank you!

And for everyone at the gym who is just there to improve themselves and not for nonsense, I thank you!

Current Obsession!

One word. Pinterest. With this one word my life has been almost turned upside down.  It all began several weeks ago watching a girlfriend of mine show me around her Pinterest page.  From that moment on, I was mesmerized and was convinced that this new world was something that I must venture into myself.  So I did.  I went to the Pinterest website and found heart beating with excitement and after a few quick strokes of the keys on my keyboard I had officially requested an invitation to join the Pinterest world.  


From then on it was a waiting game.  I waited patiently at times, but more so impatiently for my invitation to be sent.  Then finally, two weeks later, it came! MY INVITATION TO PINTEREST HAD ARRIVED!  Since that moment, it has been difficult for me to pull myself away from the computer.  My 8 hour work days are seeming longer and longer as I cannot wait to get home and start pinning!  It has become an obsession!


Although, this may seem silly to some and insane to others.  I challenge you to try to causally look through these boards and not want to "repin" or "like" any of the posts.  Let me know how that goes for you!


For the foreseeable future, you can find me at the corner of Pinterest and Obsession! Say "hi" if your nearby! :o) 

Baby Reid Here We Come!

On October 28th our very first nephew, Reid, was born! Since long before his arrival, Ryan and I have been so looking forward to meeting him!  We have spent countless hours and dollars buying him anything and everything that we think he would like!  Tomorrow morning, the day has come for us to finally get the opportunity to meet him! Our first flight leaves Des Moines at 11:00am and after a lay over in Chicago we arrive in North Carolina!


We cannot explain how excited we are to meet this little guy!  I have been on facebook more in the past few weeks than I have been in my entire life, just to try to see more pictures of him! And in just a few more hours we will be able to see him in person! I am getting more jazzed every second!


Because we are heading down at Thanksgiving, and probably wont be able to make it down there again for quite a while, we will be celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas all at the same time.  This is by far the best part of the entire trip, because we will get to celebrate two of Reid's first holidays with him!  Ryan and I have been out buying Reid several Christmas presents that we are certain he will love and look adorable in, and now may have to pay to have another bag checked at the airport! 


Tomorrow will be such an exciting day for us and we have been looking forward to this for so long! 


I am planning to take tons of pictures and attack my blog and my facebook with them!

Happy Thanksgiving!!! 

A Reason To Go To The Zoo!

If you are at a loss for a reason to visit your local zoo, here are a couple of gems that might change your mind! 


I applaud this monkey for his flexibility and for his inventiveness!  Hurrah Monkey!  You can officially fill your mouth with your own urine!  I bet his monkey-friends cannot say the same thing!

The second clip is perhaps the funniest thing that I have seen years!  Although he might not be as flexible as his pee-drinking friend, he is perhaps the most dramatic.

Please remember when watching these videos that scientists and researchers alike believe that we are related to these guys!  Yikes!

....And I'm Back!

Each year it amazes me how much the summer can accelerate your life and before you know it several months have pasted and you don't know where they went!  Although this summer I did not have any major plans I did have quite an eventful and fun-filled summer! Some of my favorite moments would be...

Baby Huber!

As each day passes we get closer and closer to the arrival of the next Mr. Huber.  It is so exciting to have a baby in the family.  One in which I can spoil rotten and send back to mom and dad!  Although my nephew is still "cooking" I love him tons and tons and cannot wait for his much anticipated appearance!  Ryan and I will be traveling down to North Carolina to meet the baby at Thanksgiving and we are both thrilled to see him!  Despite the excitement, we are saddened that we cannot be closer to see him (and of course my brother and sister-in-law)  more often.  We will survive!  Thanksgiving is going to be here before we know it!

Summertime Visits!!

This summer we had several guests at our house!  My mom came all the way from Virginia to visit over the labor day weekend and my brother and sister-in-law where here for a weekend in August!  It was great to see family that I hadn't seen since I got married and it made us realize how much we miss them when we go so long without visits!

Freeport's New Favorite Teacher!

My very best friend, Whitney, scored herself a FULL TIME job at our alma mater: Freeport High School!! I was completely jazzed at the announcement!  This excitement was for several reasons...

1. She is one of the smartest and hardest working people I know!

2. She has been talking about being a teacher for like 20 years and now she finally has landed a big girl job!

3. Probably the biggest reason I was stoked....She is now able to keep me updated on the goings-on at FHS!  

Once a pretzel, always a pretzel...apparently! 

CONGRATS WHIT!

Nearing the End of Year One!

In less than 1 month, I will have been married to my wonderful husband for an entire year!  This year has gone so fast and it is unbelievable that our wedding was last year!  Over the summer we were able to spend a lot of quality time together.  We are eagerly planning our 1 year anniversary, which we are extremely excited for!

All in all, I had a great summer.  But as always, I wish that it wouldn't go so quickly.  Now that I am about to enter my winter-induced hibernation, the blogging will become exponentially more frequent!

Little boys say the darnedest things!!!

Last night, Ryan and I babysat for my Project Managers' three little boys.  I jump at every opportunity to babysit for these kids, because I do believe they might be the cutest kids on the planet!  I also love to babysit for them because being, 9, 7 and 4 years old they say some of the funniest things I have ever heard!


Right away we went outside and played "crisbies", which is also known as "frisbee" but pronounced "crisbies" by Lewis the four year old!  After playing crisbies for a while, Lewis decided he wanted to take a break and throw the ball around.  I was standing the front yard and turned to see where Lewis had went and he was standing, facing the house, behind the retaining wall.  I could tell that he was standing there peeing and the conversation went...


"Lewis, what are you doing?" - Me
"Nothing." - Lewis
"Really?!" - Me, walking towards him to see what he was doing.
"Yeah" - Lewis said and then points to the pee puddle.  
"That's from the rain" - Lewis
"Uh, huh" - Me, sounded very unconvinced.
"Sometimes it smells like pee" - Lewis.


Yikes....I'm glad I avoided the pee rain that suddenly hit the side of their house!


Once Ryan arrived, I ran to Subway to get us some supper.  As Ryan and I started diving into our food, Lewis (who had already had supper) looks down at the table in front of him and says...


"Hey! Ryan! You can't eat all of those chips! God says we are supposed to share our food!" - Lewis
"Really?" - Ryan
"Yes! And our toys and our swords.  Not real swords.  Little boys can't play with real swords.  But we want to..." - Lewis


HILARIOUS!!!! I love it!