"Those are my underwear"

A couple of days ago, I was helping a 60-year old lady that I know find a set of missing keys.  Since this person had rummaged through all of her possessions that she had on her the last time that she had her keys, I was convinced that her keys were safe within the confines of her car.  Because of this, I sent myself on a mission to root through her car until the missing keys were found.  


I started by looking under both of her front seats, in cup holders, her glove compartment, under the visors and in the side compartments on her doors.  Coming up short handed on each of those locations, I set my sights on her center console determined to find these elusive keys.  Opening the console I find a pack of cigarettes, a couple CD cases, sunglasses and an array of other miscellaneous items. As I continue to dig towards the bottom, I grab a handful of items when I hear words that will haunt me for a very long time...


"Those are my underwear" - says the older woman in the car whose keys are lost.


Stunned while watching her motion towards the garments in my right hand, I say... "You mean...the ones in my hand?" 


With a nod of her head, I try not to concentrate on the state of cleanliness that the pair of panties in my hand may be in, and I quickly drop the items back to where they were found, and walk briskly to the nearest hand sanitizer. 


I have tried not to think too hard as to why a woman (of any age - but especially of older age) would keep a spare pair of underwear in her center console.  Although my efforts are great to not think about it, when I falter, my reasoning for the extra set of underwear are frightening. 


This is my life.  No one else's.  Because if it were someone else's...this shit wouldn't happen.  Only to me!  

A Ladies Rant: Gym Etiquette

Recently, Ryan and I have started working out 5-6 days a week.  Me to lose a few unwanted pounds and Ryan to gain a little extra muscle.  Because he and I have lives, jobs and other responsibilities we have a minimal amount of time each day that we can devote solely to working out.  So when we show up to the gym each morning, we mean business!  Although we love our gym and have really begun to enjoy working out, I have noticed a few etiquette items that need to be addressed…

1.  To the lady who insists on hopping onto the elliptical right next to me (even when there is a whole row of available machines): my Pandora can block out your exceptionally loud panting but it cannot block out your unbearable stench.  If you must workout in close proximity to me daily, please do something about your body odor.  It’s one word. 4 syllables. 9 letters. Deodorant. It will change your life, and mine. Thank you!

2. To the juiceheads in the back of the gym: Just because there is a full wall mirror by the weights, doesn’t mean that you are required to check yourself out constantly. Although it is tempting, save the flexing for your girlfriend/wife and get the hell out of my way. You make me not like you just by being you. I cannot for the life of me understand where you get your physiques in the first place, I never see you lift more than your muscle milk. Work out or get out. Thank you!

3. To the loud woman who thinks we all care what you have to say: We don’t. Keep your weather reports and your town gossip to yourself. No one wants to hear it.  Even your friends look like they would rather suck on a tailpipe than listen to your moronic anecdotes. You’re at the gym, not in a high school hallway. Cut the gossip and grow up. Thank you!

4. To the women on the stair climber: It loses all effect if you throw your body weight on the top half of the machine when the intensity increases.  I am no exercise expert, but I believe the idea of that machine is to give the effect as though you are walking up stairs at a rapid rate.  The way you are doing it, it would just be better to save your money, stay at home and lay on your back and move your knees towards your chest and then straight out again. Figure it out or try another machine.  Thank you!  

5. To the magazine hoarder: Unless you are endlessly quizzed on your knowledge of current Hollywood hook-ups and break-ups by the people who line up on a daily basis outside your door, please limit your magazine collection.  In case you haven’t noticed, there are others in the gym who may care to read them.  Take just one or bring your own from home.  Thank you!

And for everyone at the gym who is just there to improve themselves and not for nonsense, I thank you!

Current Obsession!

One word. Pinterest. With this one word my life has been almost turned upside down.  It all began several weeks ago watching a girlfriend of mine show me around her Pinterest page.  From that moment on, I was mesmerized and was convinced that this new world was something that I must venture into myself.  So I did.  I went to the Pinterest website and found heart beating with excitement and after a few quick strokes of the keys on my keyboard I had officially requested an invitation to join the Pinterest world.  


From then on it was a waiting game.  I waited patiently at times, but more so impatiently for my invitation to be sent.  Then finally, two weeks later, it came! MY INVITATION TO PINTEREST HAD ARRIVED!  Since that moment, it has been difficult for me to pull myself away from the computer.  My 8 hour work days are seeming longer and longer as I cannot wait to get home and start pinning!  It has become an obsession!


Although, this may seem silly to some and insane to others.  I challenge you to try to causally look through these boards and not want to "repin" or "like" any of the posts.  Let me know how that goes for you!


For the foreseeable future, you can find me at the corner of Pinterest and Obsession! Say "hi" if your nearby! :o)